Mom Guilt--Motivation or Torture?

"These are my confessions...."--I had an epidural. I don't cloth diaper. Most of Lily's clothes are "previously loved." I'm breastfeeding but I drink a Coke sometimes. Calling my house messy would be too kind. I don't make "real" food often enough. My husband doesn't get enough of my time. I'm not crafty. I didn't use coupons for any of the items in Lily's Easter basket.

These are all things I've felt guilty about. Just today.

Other moms may not struggle with the same things I do, but I think every mom has stuff they feel guilty about. The thing is, a lot of moms have this battle cry of, "Down with mom guilt! Our jobs are hard. Let's support each other," (which I'm all for, by the way), but then we spend our days trying to out-clean, out-cook, and out-mother....or at least, some of us do. Others of us are just trying so hard to keep our heads above water that we can't even care what other people are doing because we don't have one ounce of energy left.

I wonder about mom guilt's place in my life. I spend a lot of time worrying about all the ways I have/do/will fail, even though I have gotten better about enjoying the moment and letting some things go. To be honest, though, sometimes I need that twinge of guilt to get off my butt and just go do the job that only takes 5 minutes and will make me feel better. Honestly, it doesn't take that long to Swiffer the bathroom floor and clean the toilet, but it makes me feel so much more accomplished. Once I finally get around to pureeing that mango that I paid good money for, it will make me feel that much better. But then again, if I jump up and go do something every time I feel a twinge of guilt, I'm missing out on watching my daughter play and explore, or hearing about Mr. ABC123's day.

I think it's been tough (at least for me) to find that balance between using the guilt to motivate me to be proactive, and letting it spoil a perfectly lovely moment with my family. I don't believe in letting your life go to crap just because you want to watch your baby breathe in and out (past the first few weeks, at least, tee hee), but I also don't think it's worth it to have an impeccable house and a neglected baby. I know some days the pendulum will need to swing a little more to one side than the other, and I know (in theory, at least) that it's okay. But I also know that I need to get it figured out, or I'll be in serious trouble when I have more than one wee one.

And now, I'm going to go feed my daughter, and instead of reading a book or doing something productive while she eats, I'm going to veg out to an episode of "Psych."

I deserve it after putting in extra hours at work this morning and still doing laundry and vacuuming, right?

Plus, James Roday ------------------>

=D