Life as Mommy

I absolutely love being a mother. It is the most fulfilling, challenging thing I have ever done in my life. My husband and I were just having the conversation last night that even though we are making a lot of sacrifices, we have never been happier.

It's hard. I can't get her nap schedule the way it should be, and I have days where I feel like a bad mom and wife. I do manage to keep our laundry done, our rooms clean, and my daughter cared for. But oh my goodness, I am just so happy.

My little girl is just precious, and so observant and happy. She has such a sweet, pleasant spirit and she makes being her mommy such a pleasure. She is the smiliest little baby, and she has the most observant big brown eyes you've ever seen!

LOVE. But anyway, I'm supposed to be writing this about me.

We're still going strong on breastfeeding--two months now. At first it was very challenging, I'd cry every time I attempted it, and had to push myself to try it "just one more time." Lily has caught on so quickly, though, and now we're doing great! I feel awkward and exposed nursing in public places, so I have been pumping like a fiend so that I can leave the house with her--but it's worked. I even have a small stash in the freezer. I love bonding with her, and I like knowing that I'm able to do something good for her--plus, we're saving money, so thumbs up for that. (Please don't take that as judgement if you use formula. There have been a few times where I've had to give her a formula bottle because I was bleeding, or she just wasn't getting enough, and you've got to do what's best for your baby--so no judgement here). I hope to breastfeed for a year, but we'll take it one day at a time and see how it goes. I get about 1.5 to 2 ounces every time I pump, which isn't much, but I just keep pumping away and building up my stash. She's quite the growing girl and seems satisfied after I feed her, so it doesn't seem to be a problem. She currently takes 4 oz from the bottle.

I haven't had any trouble with baby blues. I really thought I would, too--but we're good on that front.

Except for the fact that her naps aren't quite as regulated as I would like them to be, she's on a pretty good schedule. It allows us to go out to friends' houses, church, etc. and feel fairly confident that we can anticipate her needs.

On the physical front, all my regular clothes are fitting surprisingly well. In fact, my pants fit better than they did before pregnancy--and I can't lie, I am really enjoying ALL the benefits breastfeeding brings. ;) My tummy area still needs a bit of work, but overall I feel okay about how I look. I work out when I can.

An unexpected perk of Lily's birth? Mr. ABC123 has found some crazy motivation to get back in shape and try new things. He's been doing the Insanity workout for a month now, he's changed his diet...he is making big changes and showing great commitment. I am so proud of him! He's going to run a 5k with me in December, which I've been pleading for him to do for over a year. AND, the other day when my latest issue of Better Homes & Gardens arrived, he flipped through it and said, "Wow, that cake looks pretty cool. I want to try and make that!"

WHAT?!

In short, Lily has made our lives so much more satisfying. Don't get me wrong--I get tired (sometimes REALLY tired), frustrated, and I feel helpless, just like any parent. But every day when I look at my sweet baby, I have even more empathy for "pre-pregnancy me"--because this is what I was waiting for but was afraid I wouldn't have. Motherhood is even more rewarding than I imagined it would be, and I am so incredibly grateful for the privelege of being a mother. It's hard, and it changes your life completely...but I love her with every fiber of my being and wouldn't change a thing.