Well, we are six and a half months into this pregnancy, and by estimation, have less than 100 days before we meet Lily Elizabeth or Isaac James. Our friends who are also having babies have either already found out what they are having, or will be finding out in the next few weeks. It is a little bit strange to be the only ones left not knowing what we are having, but I don't regret my decision. However, I have noticed a shift in my thinking.
Mr. ABC123 has always said he'd like to have a girl first, and he is really hoping it's Lily that will be joining us in a few months. Of course, he is going to love a little boy, too, and I know that--he's said it. But I was really starting to get bothered by the fact that he was telling everyone how he reaaallllllyyyy wanted a girl. One day, I basically let my pregnancy hormones get the best of me and told him exactly what I thought about him telling the world how badly he wants a little girl and....yeah, I was pretty hard on him. Most of our "discussion" (read: my lambasting, his being flabbergasted at the hormone demons overtaking his wife) took place via BlackBerry Messenger while he was working one night, and he made the mistake of spelling Isaac "I-s-s-a-c." I believe my exact words were: "See? You don't even know to spell your own son's name. Not even GOD spells it that way," (referring, of course, to Isaac in the Bible). It was not my proudest moment. (He really does know how to spell Isaac. He just made a typo, but you can't tell that to hormones-with-a-capital-H).
See, one day, somebody thought that it wouldn't be a big deal to tell me that when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad really wanted me to be a boy (they didn't know what they were having either). Maybe that wouldn't bother some people, but it made me feel like crap---like I was a disappointment from Day One. Now, I am totally protective of this baby and I would never, EVER want him or her to hear that someone was hoping they would be something else. Yeah, I know my Dad loves me and I'm sure that he wouldn't go back and change things, but still. You can't un-ring that bell.
Yes, it has been hard for me to picture having a girl; I've always pictured the baby as a boy. Does that mean I don't WANT a girl? Definitely not. Let's be honest--girl clothes are much more fun to shop for. If they announce in the delivery room that it's a girl, I'll be SO THRILLED! (Besides, if the wives' tale about being sicker with a girl is true, and I have a BOY? I don't know how I would ever survive a girl).
Then I realized that I was preparing more for a boy than a girl. I've said from the beginning that just because I picture myself having a boy doesn't mean that I AM--but I went back and looked at my registry and thought, "Would I really want my little girl in that?"
So, I am working harder at not completely shutting down the idea of a baby girl (because it's not like I don't want a girl), and hubby is working on not sounding like he doesn't want a boy...because honestly? This baby already IS Lily or Isaac, and we are going to love our little one whether they come home in a pink or blue blanket.
I can't wait to find out which it will be!
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