Hopeful

I was watching CNN this morning. That's not normally my "thing," and I'm not really sure what made me tune in. While I was watching, I saw a story about the so-called "Signboard Guy" from New York City. Basically, it's a guy who graduated from MIT and was out of work, so he tried to get a job by standing on Park Avenue with a sign advertising his qualifications and contact info. Goodness, it made me feel so much better. The guy graduated from MIT, one of the most challenging and prestigious schools in the country, and even he couldn't make ends meet. It was like an epiphany--I wouldn't consider that guy a failure. I would consider him a victim of a bad economy.

We have some friends from church who have also had a rough time of it. He works for Borders, and his store is being closed, so he was going to be out of a job. Then, a few days after he got a new job, SHE found out that she'd be losing her job thanks to budget cuts made by Rick Scott. Neither one of those things was their fault, they just happen. They're good, responsible people.

If I can give them that much credit, why can't I do the same thing for us? We may end up having to live with my parents for awhile, but I can't let that make me feel like a bad mother. We wanted this baby and I'm doing my best to take great care of this little one as he or she is being formed. We're being responsible with our choices for this baby, and we can't wait to meet him or her. I want to give my baby every opportunity in this world, but that might involve moving in with my parents instead of going into deep debt for pride's sake. That DOESN'T make me a bad mom. (Now, all I need to do is write that twenty five times on the bathroom mirror....).

Besides, at least there's a prospect out there of someone that wants to talk to Mr. ABC123. Maybe we WON'T have to move in with my parents indefinitely. There's still some hope for us. I know that I'll still get down about this from time to time, and it will still involve some stress--but at least I don't have to feel like a failure.

PS--I'm going to try and get a 19 week belly pic posted later today. Our camera bit the dust, but *somebody's* birthday is this month (it's ME! It's ME!), so maybe we can replace it soon by using it as a birthday present (we just had a Kodak EasyShare--no $400 camera to replace, thank goodness). We definitely want to save up for that because when you have a baby, you NEED a camera! Until then, camera phone it is...