Salt, Carbs, and Refined Sugars...Oh My!

Just call me a human trash can, because I have put utter garbage in my body this afternoon.
I present you with my daily food intake, an essay:
*For breakfast, I ate two poached eggs. Mm, protein. Mm, healthy.
* For lunch, broccoli, chicken, and yogurt. More protein, a vegetable, and calcium. Well done,
self.
*I've had at least three glasses of water.
*Then, I got off work, came home, and made myself some popcorn on the stove. Sounds healthy, yes? No. Because even though I spared myself the nitrates and butter from microwave popcorn, I popped the kernels in peanut oil.Then, just to make sure I negated any and all nutritional value, I added salt. Copious amounts of salt.Annnnnd a little hot sauce because....why not?
* Oh, I forgot to mention that while I was popping the popcorn on the stove, I indulged in a rare treat that I bought yesterday--kettle cooked salt and vinegar chips. I NEVER buy them. This is why. They opened the floodgates to snacking sin.
*My insides are now thoroughly pickled. Fastforward to dinnertime. I've planned all day on making homemade pizza, and I know I have the crust mix somewhere in the pantry. I open the pantry and begin to dig in our "mix basket," when what should appear but an unopened box of Sourpatch Kids, left over from a youth event. I don't believe I need to go on....

The one measly lap I ran today doesn't even count anymore. AF must be close, because I never crave this trash. I'll have a bump, all right, it just won't be baby-related!

Something else I must share.....

As I'm sitting on the couch in a sugar stupor, watching "The Event" with Mr. ABC123, we hear a noise. I figure it's a squirrel outside on our balcony, messing with my Christmas cactus again, so I peek outside, but see nothing.

This is when we see the vertical blinds moving.

Somehow, a squirrel made its way INTO our apartment. I have no idea how. I flee to the bedroom and leave him to herd the squirrel back outside. Here's what happened next.....

Mr.:"Uh, babe? Babe?"
Mrs.:"What?! Don't you bring that thing in here. It's NOT FUNNY. Don't you dare."
Mr.: "I'm not going to. Uh...it....you won't believe this."
Mrs.:"WHAT?! Did you get rid of it?"
Mr.:"It's.....stuck behind the washer/dryer."
Mrs.:"Shut your mouth."
Mr.:"I'm just gonna.....close all the rest of the doors."

Maintenance is in our kitchen as we speak, helping him lift the washer/dryer. Squirrelgate 2010 continues.