August 28, 2011

Today is the day that I've been reciting like a parrot ever since we announced my pregnancy.

My baby's due date.

I have very serious doubts that the baby will be arriving today, but that is okay.

Apparently, it is NOT okay with the rest of the world, who never ceases to share "helpful" advice that is BRAND NEW INFORMATION on how to induce labor--like spicy foods, sex, and walking.

I know, right? Is your mind as blown as mine is?

Watch the puddle of sarcasm dripping on the keyboard. It just seems to be that everyone assumes that I am just dying to have this baby and I can't stand it one more minute, so they're offering suggestions on ways to get labor started.

Sure, I am anxious to meet our baby. Am I bemoaning the fact that I'm going to go past my due date? No. I want to know that I am making PROGRESS, for sure, because I don't want an induction, but the baby is going to come when the baby is good and ready. I actually think it's quite funny how for all the women that are superanxious, people always say, "Don't rush it. The baby will come when it comes." But when there is someone--like me--who still has a little bit of patience left, everyone assumes that I must be going out of my mind and willing to do anything it takes to make the baby come.

Ah, irony.

It has been increasingly difficult to be here at home, though--I will say that much. No one leaves me alone--ever. And while I know that they are concerned and I appreciate the fact that I am not alone, I am also acutely aware of the fact that I am about to have zero minutes of alone time, on average, for the next several years. This morning, my dad wouldn't leave for church until my mom had arrived back home from taking my sister to work--I would've been alone for 15 minutes, max. Tomorrow, my mom has informed me that I'll have to go with her when she takes my sister to work because my dad won't be here.

Seriously? What does she think is going to happen in an hour?

I'm sorry. I know I sound like a whiny, spoiled brat, but it frays my nerves to no end to be under 24-hour surveillance. I need--NEED--a little privacy (Mr. ABC123 excluded--he's supposed to be here). Today over lunch, my parents said that they were going to pick my sister up from work and then go look for a new couch. I was so relieved that we would have the house to ourselves that I wanted to jump for joy....so when I came downstairs later this afternoon to see that my parents had come home to drop my sister off before they went shopping, I promptly went back up to our room and burst into tears. I feel SO BAD not doing things with her, because she comes home from work and is sooo bored...but I just didn't have it left in me today to make nice and be social. The hubs set up a movie for her on our TV and then drove me to the bank and to get a free smoothie. Not an extravagant outing by any means...I just needed to get out of the house. Away from the eyes that are always, always watching. Away from my dad's constant comments on how they'll be rushing me off to the hospital any minute. Away from the constant scrutiny and "How are you feeling?" and chatter just for the sake of chatter.

I know that sounds so awful and I really don't mean for it to...but after being here in the house, day after day, with very little contact with the outside world and even FEWER conversations that don't revolve around the baby or labor....I just need to breathe and remember that there is more to life than sitting around in these last few days before the baby's arrival.

Namaste.