Today I am feeling very blue.

I've been alone for most of the day, and Mr. ABC123 has been gone for days. Again. I swear, that man is never home anymore with this new job. In case you haven't been keeping track (because, well, why would you?), he has been gone almost every other week ever since we moved.

I think what makes me feel more sad is the fact that I've been working hard on not isolating myself. I've extended several invitations to a friend that lives nearby to come over. I've quit waiting for people I know on Facebook to friend request me, and just did it myself. I've been working really hard on Scentsy business (and booked two parties, yeah!)...but you know how sometimes you just feel like everyone else in the world is out having fun, and you're not? That's how I'm feeling.

Blah.

I'm still waiting on the nursery to be done...but I can't make any more progress until my parents finish moving their stuff, so I'm sitting here, staring across the room at the miscellaneous pile o' baby stuff that has no home. It frustrates me more and more because I don't really have anything that's mine anymore--no kitchen, no bathroom, not even a bedroom that I get to put my personal touch on. The nursery is the only thing that's "mine," and I have to wait on my mommy and daddy to help me first. =p

I feel like I am 12.

I bought a going home outfit for Lily this week. It's so darn cute! It's a baby pink onesie that says "My Heart Belongs to Daddy" in silver glittery letters, with gray pants that have the rows of ruffles on the bum. Every time I look at it, my heart just melts and I hope against all hope that we are having a girl so that I can dress her in it. Then I feel like the worst mother in the world, because of COURSE I want a boy too (I didn't buy an outfit for Isaac because we already have so many boy clothes). If we do have a boy, though, I will NOT be giving this outfit away, even though I have two friends that are having girls! I am going to hang on to it in hopes that one day we will get our girl too.

I think that's one of the hard things about waiting to find out the gender of your baby--you don't know which it will be, so you plan for both. In your head, you almost feel like you know them BOTH...but of course, we'll only be meeting one this time. While it will be thrilling to finally meet Isaac or Lily, I think I will feel a little twinge of sadness for the one that we don't get to meet this time, because I have been thinking of him or her for a long time. We'll just cross our fingers that we'll get to meet them with our next baby!