You Know What's Stupid?

Feeling sad when you look at permission slips.

I was collecting permission slips today when I felt this pang of sadness. I wonder if the people signing the slips understand just how lucky they are to be a parent. To them, it's just another piece of paper that they scan over and scribble on, but to me, it's a reminder of all the things I don't have. Oh, the things you dwell on when you're childless.

Two parents of my students are having babies, plus my coworker, and they're all starting to show now. There was a substitute in one of the classes that has recess with mine, so we were making small talk, and the inevitable question came up....."Do you have any kids?" "Um, no...not yet." *awkward pause.*

Aaaaaaand now she doesn't know what to say to me.

This month I'm really not doing anything special, other than...you know, the basics. I pretty much know the basic window of time in which I ovulate, but I'm not temping. I had some OPKs that I was using at the beginning of my possible window of opportunity, but I never got a positive result and they're gone now (I only had a half a box left). I'm not going to go buy more; it doesn't really matter. I don't forsee it being this month, but I don't know if it's just because I was so burned by what happened last month or if it's because I'm not putting in any extra effort. I'm just trying to be consistent...it may not result in anything, but I don't hear Mr. ABC123 complaining, either. ;) He really is such a rockstar through this whole thing. He somehow knows how to let me know that he's totally in this with me and he's just as sad as I am when AF shows, yet still be totally strong. I don't know how he does it, but he's awesome.

I have officially placed my first Scentsy order and my first payday is Friday. I'm so excited about the positive results so far, but I'm still hoping to get my next party booked. I have some people in mind to ask if they'd be willing to host a party for me, so...fingers crossed for that. I would still love, love, love to build a wide enough client base to earn the money to make the mister's student loan payments each month. That would be amazing!