Nope, this is not an announcement. Settle down, settle down.
So, lately I've been thinking a lot. I know several people who have recently announced their pregnancies, and I've seen peoples' reactions to the announcements. It always seems like everyone is so excited and happy for them, but sometimes I wonder what their families really say. That is not supposed to sound nearly as mean as it probably does...I'm just curious. Lately I've been having this fear that if/when we do get to tell people that we're having a baby, we'll get one of two reactions:
1) "What were you THINKING?!"
2) Crickets *chirp chirp*
My family knows that we're not in the best of financial situations, just because I can be open with my parents about stuff like that. We have no debt (other than Mr. ABC123's student loans) and we pay cash for everything, so we're not crazy stupid with money. It's just that what little we get all goes to bills and there's not much at all left over for savings, investments, or anything else. My parents are so, so, so supportive of us, but part of me has this fear that they're going to be mad if we ever tell them we're pregnant....that they'll think we're irresponsible. DH and I have spent years talking about the right time to have kids, but we came to the decision that there's never a "perfect" time to have kids. There's no magic number in your bank account that makes you more or less fit to be a parent. Would I knowingly try to have a child that I couldn't adequately support? Of course not. I'd do whatever it took to provide for my son or daughter, and so would DH. I just feel like if we keep waiting for the time to be "right," it never will be. We've also been told countless times by new parents that there'll always be that trip you wanted to take, or that thing you wanted to buy, so if you wait until you own everything you want and have gone every place you want, you'll be broke and too old to have a baby.
What do you think? Have any of you had these same feelings?
That's exactly the way I was feeling, and it was a lot of the reason, I was a flip-flopper on the whole TTC thing. Every single thing you listed here was something that I thought about and I had to decide which side weighed more. You know, does having a baby out weigh going on the trips...being COMPLETELY debt free etc. When I was finally able to decide what was more important (baby) it made things so much clearer. I know what you are thinking/ feeling in this post!
ReplyDeleteI felt all of this when we got pregnant. I was SO nervous, I felt like a 16 year old that was about to confess to her parents. But you know what was the biggest blessing? Everyone was absolutely thrilled and so generous. If there are crickets or judgements, you don't need those people. The ones who really love you will be so happy for you and willing to help in any way they can. I didn't know how we'd pay for or handle any of it, but God just kept opening door after door after door. In the end, I didn't need to worry about anything because God had the entire situation under control and still does. Yes, a baby is expensive. But if you wait for the right time, it will never come. God knows your heart's desire and is going to pile His blessings on you.
ReplyDeleteI feel a little silly saying that becoming a parent has taught me to start trying to relinquish the tight hold I have on my life and trying to control everything, but it has. God is in complete control and He looks out for us. Be smart, stick to a budget and He will take care of the rest. I promise.
<3
Thanks, guys! It's just struck me lately that while part of me feels ready to take that leap and become a parent (or as ready as you can be....), and the other part of me is scared out of my mind to think of telling people about US, a youth pastor and a private school teacher, having a third person to support and provide for. Maybe by the time it actually happens, he'll have a better job....who knows. I'm sure it will be an interesting journey.
ReplyDeleteI realize it's been several months since you posted this but, I just read your blog and I figured I had a few pearls of Baby Budget wisdom to share.
ReplyDelete1. Diapers are the baby item that we spend the most money on each month. (Duh) And since changing the baby's diaper less frequently is just not nice...cutting down on quantity wasn't an option. I priced out every diaper buying option I could think of---Sam's Club, Walmart, generic brands, diapers.com, clipping coupons, and so on. The best deal I found so far is at Amazon.com. First, sign up for Amazon Moms. (It's a free program and you'll get free shipping) Second, find the diapers you want (I used 400 Huggies Newborn Care Diapers with Owen...yes, I counted! Then, I lost track once he was in larger Pampers sizes) Third, order the diapers on Amazon using the Subscribe and Save option. You'll save 30% on the cost, plus they're delivered to your door monthly. Right now we spend $30 a month on diapers. Also, diaper baby showers are also very helpful. People like giving baby clothes and toys, but forget to bring diapers for the new mommy. So for my sister's baby shower, we asked everyone to bring diapers to be entered into a drawing for a gift card. She got tons of diapers and it only cost us (the hosts) $20 for the gift card!
2. Consignment Sales are AWESOME! We have a sale called Reruns are Fun here in Louisiana. (Maybe you'll find something similar in Florida) They sell gently used cribs, strollers, toys, bibs, onesies, outfits, books, crib bedding, breast pumps, literally everything baby! We spend $300 on a crib and found the exact same one at the sale for $100. After having a baby, I realized that I treat all his stuff so gently and with such care that it still looks new even after he's too big for them. So why not save money and buy those gently used items and save a ton?
3. Baby bedtime helps to curb spending. By that I mean, Owen goes to bed at 7pm and once he's asleep we don't leave the house. Therefore, we don't spend any money. We are just as happy and don't feel like we've missed out on anything. We also eat better because we plan out our meals and don't eat restaurant foods or even late night ice cream outings as often as we once did.
4. Making baby food is so simple and cheap! Check out The Super Baby Food Book from the library and copy recipes or just look them up online. It's so simple and you just need a food processor and some ice cube trays.
5. Without even trying, you spend less on yourself. I loved shopping before Owen was born. But, now it's just not as easy go shopping with a baby, so I don't go. Also, I was so excited to get back into my pre-prego clothes that I didn't want many new outfits. My old jeans feel like new jeans!
You're probably thinking I'm crazy for posting a novel in response to your post, but I understand your worry. I felt the same way. (We live on 1 income and our only debt are our loans... so I think we're in very similar places) God is good and provides for us in every way!
Thanks, Brittany! I was just reading your post about making your own baby food (and how much you saved), and I totally thought, "I am SO doing that!" I appreciate the diaper input, too--our plan is to start buying diapers a package at a time (once we're pregnant) after we hit the second trimester, so I will start looking at that site. I love all the tips--keep them coming!
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